So I am sitting here for my second day of chemo and it is about as exciting as the first day. I have to really thank my friends at Sony for hooking me up with a new PlayStation Portable (PSP). I lovc this thing. It plays games, videos, and music as well as hold pictures. I need to go out and buy some movies for this thing or get a bigger memory card so I can put my own movies on it. Besides that not much more going on. I sit here for about 5 hours and have a bunch of toxic chemicals pumped into me. Really looking forward to being done with this. Getting back to work, seeing my old friends, playing baseball.
Anyways, I wish I had more to talk about. Actually getting tired of talking about cancer and my treatment. Everyone here is sick with one thing or another and they can’t wait to talk about it. Today I think I might be the only cancer person here and don’t really feel like sharing it with people. I am the youngest so far over the past couple of days. As odd as it sounds I take a certain joy in that. I know younger people get affected but being 36 and the youngest one being treated seems like a good sign on some level.
Today there are a bunch of people getting blood transfusions here today. I am curious about what their connections are. Bek and I have ongoing discussions about blood transfusions. Because of her faith she doesn’t agree with it and I disagree with that. For Bek, a lot of it comes down to bibilical scripture and how her faith interprets it. Fortunately, chemo wasn’t around when the Bible was written or I’m sure that would have been a mortal sin, in my opinion. The thought of having faith dictate medical decicions always kind of turned me off to a lot of faiths and there are many that do it in some form or another. And they can all point out cases where people followed their faith and their decisions on various issues turned out for the better. You can argue that they are the exception not the rule and point out several cases in which results weren’t so positive, but those conversations go nowhere.
Honestly, when word of cancer first started being used in my case, I told Bek chemo was out of the question. Obviously, that was a premature statement but my experience at the time had been chemo being used to attempt to save people whose cancer had gotten very far along; people whose outlook was bleak but still they hoped that chemo could extend or resolve the problem. In just about every case, a part of the chemo extended life for a little while but the quality of life was terrible. I didn’t want to be that person. But we talked to my Oncologist and we made the determination we were not “chasing” anything anymore. All the tumors are removed; now we just need to try and finish off the cancer in my blood stream. After a lot of soul searching I decided that I would do the chemo and I know when I am at my girls high school graduation I will be happy that I did.
As I sit here and watch these people receive their blood transfusions I wonder what their obstacles were when determining this treatment. I wonder if faith factored in, or a need to be here for someone, or just a desire to live. From the looks of everyone here it looks these guys have made the best decision, they all seem very well.
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